FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize