I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
