Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
