I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
