This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
