Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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