Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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