I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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