they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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