'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
