If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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