if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize