like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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