do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
