i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
