Did you just see the Batmobile???
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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