he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
