Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Bring me that man meat
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
