there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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