i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize