me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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