The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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