he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
