Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize