if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
