GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
