You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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