my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
