I'm jealous of your bromance
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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