i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
