What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
