Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
