I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize