i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
