10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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