i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
