I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
My bed smells like the plague
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
