dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
