Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
only if we run a train.
done.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
