Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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