the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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