your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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