maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
