she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
