You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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