i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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