gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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