dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
it glows. i had to have it.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
