kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
