its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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