she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
