I wish I could punch you in the face.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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