just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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