Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Randomize
