I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
