I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
you made out with another girl for some wings
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
