just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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