my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
