is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
even my farts smell like vagina
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
