I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You brought string cheese to the strip club
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
