1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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