What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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