I wanna bring you to show and tell
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i love accidental penises.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
