You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize