I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
