i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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